i wiw=sh i could have done seomthing to help Peter. yes, i do feel a void to the point of feeling suoffcated.

Thank you Connie for sharing your thoughts. I had thought about maybe asking if there were any psychologists reading this board who could explain the outpouring of emotions that so many have expressed here. On 8/8 when Charles Gibson was doing Peter's obit on WNT I just started sobbing and saying I can't believe I will never see him do the news again. My wonderful fiance was sitting next to me and tried to comfort me. I told him it must be difficult for my future husband to watch me cry over another man. He has been very patient as I have talked to him about all that Peter was and how sad and quick his illness and death were. I think it's helped us all to be able to share on this board and realize we are not alone in what we are going through.

I have to say my son has been helping me, but just last night said, Mom, you have to get over this. I know I do. He was NOT a family member....but then he was. He was my date on New Year's for 2000. He was there for me, taking me all over the world. I had no date that night, but I truly didn't feel left out...Peter was there and we went everywhere....I am so glad now, that I didn't have a date. On 9/11 he was there for me. All day...all night. He was everywhere....now he is nowhere....forever. Now I just feel this awful void and I don't rush home to watch the news. I do watch, if I can, but it's not my priority right now. I can't stand it that they took his name off the marquee and I can't stand the music to introduce World News Tonight. I just brings tears to my eyes when I hear that music. I need closure....soon. The memorial can't come soon enough. Lori

Good Morning! If I may make a suggestion, perhaps it will help you. As a Canadian, I listen to CBC radio daytime and then BBC, on local WNED, at 6 o'clock. The 6:30 news, for decades, was WNT and Peter. A few nights ago I decided that hearing the commencement music and once again realizing Peter's absence were akin to "pouring salt on an open would". I shut it off. For the present, I'm watching BBC from 6 - 7 o'clock. When I am ready, I will return to ABC, but not until they've stopped playing musical anchors with Charlie, Elizabeth and Bob. I'll return when there is one anchor that will become, for me, a constant fixture. Soon I hope, because ABC rounds out the day's new for me. Further,I believe that their newscasts will continue to represent all that Peter stood for. Regards, Connie I agree with you wholly - change the music!!

Actually, I'm finding comfort in the music... And, seeing the program continue. There was a time, on TV shows, when the star died, the program went off the air altogether... Continuing to watch the program, or listen to it as I am now, is akin to getting back on a bicycle after falling off or getting behind the wheel of a car after an accident... But, we each deal the best way we can... Lisa.

In a way, the special last week was a memorial service. I recall that in a Larry King Live interview, Peter commented on how sometimes, when you are reporting breaking news,it is as if the country is "in chapel". He felt that definitely happened with 9/11. And I felt that we were in chapel during that special. I have found it particularly helpful to watch old videos of him. Interviews mainly. Fortunately, CSPAN has a good archive on its web page that includes 2 panel discussions on network news covereage of politics and interviews about his books. You can purchase DVDs of their programs (although some are quite expensive). The ABC Newstore has a treasure trove of video, and you can purchase videos of Larry King shows, on which Peter was a frequent guest. I have found that through watching these, it has gotten a little easier to let go.

I too, have found it helpful to watch old videos. I've been watching "The Century" every night before going to bed and I'm up to Volume 4 (of 6). I remember buying that series as soon as it came out on VHS because I love history, which is what this is about, and because I love Peter, who is featured in the transitions and whose rich, beautiful voice is all over it. It took me just two nights to get through the tapes after learning Peter had cancer, sobbing the entire time. Now, I'm savoring them. I've also ordered some of Peter's specials from the ABC Newsstore and I also want to get my hands on some interviews. It looks like I'm going to be spending some $$$, but it's the only way I'm going to get through this. BTW, has anyone ordered the "Reporter" special and received it yet? I ordered it 3 days ago and my account still says PENDING.

"pending" simply means the order has not been shipped. on the site where you ordered, it stated that shipment could be 6 - 8 weeks

Jim: If this is what works for you, go for it. Each of us has our own way of coping. Unfortunately, I never collected any of his documentaries or special news reports. I just checked out of our WalMart here in Niagara Falls - as I'm putting items on the conveyer, don't I look up and see Peter's face looking back,from People magazine (Aug.22 issue). I have never bought one before, but I couldn't resist. Regards, Connie

Actually, my name is Jennifer. My screen name is my initials, but in lower case.

Sorry Jennifer - What a lovely name! - I do like it better than Jim, though James is nice! Go to LLPCAM's message just posted - videos of Peter available- websites are provided. Regards, Connie

Connie: You stated in an earlier post that guilt is part of the grieving process. So is denial I believe. I know for myself I realistically believe Peter is gone. Yet sometimes I will think to myself he can't be gone,at 5:30 p.m. I am going to turn on the TV and he will be there doing the news just like he always did. Reading the many articles, newspaper and magazine the last two weeks when I would see his picture I would think he can't really be dead, it's just not possible. Is this part of the mind trying to deal with the shock of what has happened? Please reply. Thanks, Pam.

working on it Pam - its a complex topic and I'm trying to make it as brief as possible. Have to run errand but I will get back to you this evening. Connie

To Pam; (I did my best to keep this short-you should see the draft!!) In answer to your question, yes, denial is also part of the grieving process. Denial keeps us at arms length from acceptance. Acceptance is particularly difficult when a death occurs unexpectedly and/or suddenly. We knew Peter was ill; however, as small as the hope for recovery was, we clung to it. His death was unexpected and we were ambushed by the suddenness of it. The fallout hit people in varying degrees. The grieving process is not like a train schedule. It doesn't have a timetable. Some individuals journey towards and reach acceptance easier and sooner than others. During this journey, one might feel many emotions and not in any particular order. Some of these emotions include guilt, denial, sorrow and anger (the adjectives are seemingly endless). Anger is another very common emotion for someone experiencing grief. This is particularly true if the death is seen as having been avoidable. I?,ve been trained in this field, yet today when I unexpectedly saw Peter?s picture on the front of People magazine, my immediate reaction was, ?I can?t believe you are gone?. I was too choked up to speak. You see, for all my training, psychologically I too am having difficulty accepting it. However, we do find our way through this Pam, to a place where peace exists and memories make you smile ? ?Time? facilitates the journey. I hope I?ve been some help. Connie

Connie: Yes, this has been very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to do so. I have found all of your comments to be very kind, positive and comforting. We are very fortunate to have you and your insight on this board. I was thinking denial also came for me in April when Peter made his announcement. When he said I will continue to do the broadcast when able and my voice won't always be this weak, I really believed him. I remember the next time I talked to my fiance I said ,"did you hear about Peter?", and he replied, "yes, he's quitting." I said, "he's not quitting. He'll be there when he can be." I realize now there was a part of me that didn't want to think this was a worst case scenario, that maybe Peter would never again return to his chair. I have also been feeling anger. There's a part of me that thinks how could this have happened? He was a heavy smoker for so long. Why didn't he or his doctor take precautions years ago? Obviously, Peter had the financial means and access to the best medical care possible. Why weren't they doing frequent scans to see if he had a lung tumor and possibly this could have been caught early. I am getting ready to go away for a few days and won't be near a computer. I am curious to see whether or not when I return some distance will have helped me to have a different perspective on all of this. Pam BTW Connie: I wish you all the best in trying to quit smoking. Same goes for everyone else on this board who is trying. Good for you.

HAVE FUN!!!!! The distraction will help, I'm sure. Connie

I just want to say it is still so hard to believe Peter Jennings is gone. Everytime I turn on the news I see someone else and it is still so weird. It will take time to get through this. I can't even think about a replacement right now. Sincerely, BillandJoan

BillandJoan; I've not been watching WNT. When they have put in someone permanent as anchor I will attempt to reconnect, but for the time being, I'm watching BBC or simply reading the Globe and Mail (I'm in Canada). I agree, this loss will take time to accept and move on. Regards, Connie

Connie, I am Christian, in my grieving process, I believe that Peter Jennings go to another phase of life. His physical body is no longer here, but his spirit is Eternal. We all will join together one day at that only place. Somehow, as humain being, all of us will be deeply sad to see the loved ones seem left us forever. I just finished watching one videoclip about the award that he received last year. During last hour of watching and listenning,I was totally captivated by his speech and forgot about the reality that he passed away.I thought as if he was still alive. Then, I am being awakened wuth the reality. I haven't resumed watching WNT yet.I still feel painful, unfair ( sorry, It seems I blame God) .... because it is tooo tooo soon for him. Perhaps, I wait until next month. In my grieving, I resort to my prayers and my faith. And I want to believe that Mr. Peter Jennings is now being very happy because he can see and feel that all of us (his family, his colleagues, his friends , all his viewers) love him , miss him, admire him and appreciate him for all his worthy & talent contributions and his charismatic,idealistic...great personality. Regards, LLP

LLP I too believe that Peter's spirit is with us. And I am also sure that he's overwhelmed by all that he witnesses on these boards. He's also possibly having a bit of a laugh as we all debate who might succeed him (I posed the question last week and have had over 70 responses). He probably already knows! God Bless Connie