It has been 4 days since my last ciggerette. I have been smoking what seems like a lifetime. I am now 35 years old and started smoking on a regular basis after I graduated from boarding school. I have always been healthy, attractive (by some people's standards), fun, avid tennis player and active wife and mother of one. This year has been the year for reality on what smoking has been doing to my life. I have had two bouts with bronchitis that would not go away, shortness of breath while exercising and playing tennis, constant sore throat, pain behind my ears, hoarsenss, and chest tightness. I have been grieving the loss of my ciggs for months. I have pictured my precious child without her mother at a young age. I have pictured my husband a single father having to hire a nanny to care for my child while he works. I have pictured my child angry, and turning rebellious over her selfish mother's inability to stop her nasty habit. I have pictured my mother and father losing there daughter and the pain that it would cause them to feel. I have cried more tears over this helpless overwhelming need I have to smoke more than anything in the world. I am still shocked that I have put them down. I can say that I will die trying to never smoke again. At least down the road if something does happen to me my loved ones can certainly say that I tried my best to stop before it was to late. I will not lie, it has been a sad goodbye. MY smokes have been there with me through all the disappointments, saddness, late night hours working at the hospital, late night feedings, college exams, heartbreaks, parties, great conversations with my friends, and long days traveling on the road listening to my favorite music. I am sad. The patch is helping. cont..