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    • Christian Sense of Humor
Messages 4236.1 through 4236.4 were deleted
  • From: ladybugny
  •   To: KaliMorgannc
  • 5 of 12
  • 4/30/07

That reminds me of another HMO joke:

Three doctors die and go to heaven...St. Peter walks up to the first and says "what did you do for humankind during your life?"

 

The doctor says "I was an obstetrician and I brought hundreds of babies into the world".  St. Peter says "good, welcome to heaven."

 

St. Peter repeats the question to the second, who replies "I was a surgeon, and I performed operations that saved lives and let people live longer with their loved ones."  St. Peter says "that was a worthy thing, welcome to heaven".

 

St. Peter looks at the third and says "what did you do to help humankind during your life?"  He says "I worked for an HMO, and provided many people with low-cost health care!"

 

St. Peter said "welcome to heaven...you can stay for two weeks and then you can go to hell".

 

 

Message 4236.6 was deleted
  • From: diver0312
  •   To: KaliMorgannc
  • 7 of 12
  • 4/30/07
The preacher
>>
>>
>>
>>A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation
>>that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation, as no
>>one wants him to leave.
>>
>>Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city stands up and
>>proclaims, "If the preacher stays, I will provide him with a new
>>Cadillac every year and his wife with A Honda mini-van to transport
>>their children."
>>The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.
>>
>>Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands up and says,
>>"If the preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary
>>and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of
>>all his
>>children!" More s ighs and loud applause.
>>
>>Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher
>>stays, ..... I will give him sex!"
>>
>>There is total silence, The preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones,
>>whatever possessed you to say that?" Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake Is
>>now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and
>>shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies,
>>
>>"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help" and he said, "Screw
>>the Preacher!"
>>
>>P.S. "Isn't senility something else?" "Lord, keep Your arm around my
>>shoulder and Your hand over my mouth
Message 4236.8 was deleted
  • From: ACC_Sentada_Bastante_MEOW
  •   To: pagani66w
  • 9 of 12
  • 4/30/07

OMG I love that Pagan! I read it to my daughter and she went off to bed laughing.

 

How true, you either rise and stand or leave your buttprints in the sand.

Reading this it occurred to me that often it has been mentioned here on these boards that God is a father and we are children. But as parents we do not carry our children forever. Our goal is to make them self-sufficient and to teach them to stand on their own two feet. If you let your children lean on you their whole lives they end up weak and never learn independence. 

 

Anyways, I 'm keeping this puppy. Thanks babe :)

Messages 4236.10 through 4236.12 were deleted
 
 
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