I am 41 years old and I have been a widow for 2  years.  My husband suffered a long term illness of congestive heart failure and we have 3 small children (ages 10, 9, and 7) from our 17 year marriage prior to his passing.  It is now almost 2 years later and I have gone out  with a few men (my kids never met any of the "just daters").  I have been dating one man for 8 months now and we both have decided that we want to get married.  He is divorced, has one 17 yr old daughter and one 15 yr old God son who both live with their moms. We currently live 1.5 hours apart and he has stated that he wants us to live in the same city before we get married.  His other issue is he doesn't want to drive and feels that the distance is too great if the family ever needed him.  My position is that he doesn't have to make the drive daily especially since we would have a condo 10 min from his job.  He could always come home on the weekends (as he does now) and if he isn't too tired, he can also make the trip home maybe once during the week on Wednesday.  He acts like I am asking for something that is impossible.  I believe he doesn't want to get out of his comfort zone.  The most he has to drive is 15 minutes to get to anything that he needs in his city.  I love him dearly but I am very  marriage minded (as evidenced by my 17 year marriage) and I desire to call him my husband and I desire for my children to get to know him as their step father.  The kids all  like him and he gets along with the kids pretty good for a single guy who has never lived with kids!  LOL.    I keep thinking that he is allowing a 1.5 hour drive  keep us from being a family and I don't think thats a good reason to delay beginning our lives together.  I don't even want to get married this year but I want to get married next summer because as i told him, I have no interest in long term dating when we have both decided that we want to build a life together.  I don't know what to do but I know I want a family unit again that consists of mommy, daddy, and kids.  Should I be worried about his hesitation?