My husband and I have been married for almost 13 years, and together for 15 years. We married at 21 & 23 years old. We have 3 children (ages 10, 8 & 15 months). We are very good parents and good friends, but have some difficulty with sex. It has been the cause of 99% of every fight we've EVER had. We've never had one single fight over money and maybe a couple regarding how to discipline our kids, but for most issues we are on the same page. However, sex has been an issue from the start. He wants it all the time, and I don't. After so many years of fighting about it, sometimes just the thought of sex makes me so angry. The only reason I have sex anymore is to keep the peace. Otherwise, my husband starts to get mean and nasty and takes it out on everyone. I wish I wanted it as much as he does, but it's just so hard getting over all of the fights. What do I do? Please help.

I'm so glad you asked this question, because it affects a lot of couples. There may be several reasons your sex drive doesn't match your husband's. You could be low on testosterone, the hormone that increases sex drive in both men and women. You may have a legacy of pain from a sexually destructive past incident. He may be into sex purely as a mood-altering behavior, in which case it will feel unloving to you. One thing's for sure: by having sex just to keep the peace, you're killing off any chance of feeling real desire. Anger, resentment, and placating the other person are HUGE turnoffs. I strongly suggest that you and your husband consult a sex therapist. Whatever the biological or psychological reasons for the mistmatch, a professional can help you sort them out.