Yes, it does hurt the kids. Have you ever heard the phrase, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?" It's true. That said, I admire your willingness to stick it out for a while, because children are also hurt by the conflict of a divorce. You have to choose the time for a split by being very sensitive to your intuition. Then, you have to acknowledge that the kids are going to have a rocky time whether you stay or leave. Be open to hearing their feelings. Don't make them pretend to be fine, and don't get so overwhemled by guilt that you subtly pressure them to pretend everything's just dandy. A loveless marriage is basically a denial platoon. When the truth comes out, it will hurt for a while. The idea is not to prevent the hurt--you can't, at this point--but to respond to it with openness and love. Then you, your ex, and your children will heal.