I've been seeing a very special man for about a year now. he's very kind and supportive. My main concern with our relationship is that he is generall antisocial with others. Also we did not have an instant physical attraction for one another, rather is developed over time. There is another man, who I have long desired, I know there is mutual attraction, but i've never persued it because this man is the love em and leave em type and seems emotionally unavailable. However, I feel like if given the oppurtunity, I would choose him. How can i get over these feelings and appreciate what i have?

You may benefit from reading my other replies. Relationships are often somewhat like quicksand, wherein you get more stuck, conflicted or damaged, the longer you stay, like it or not. Trust your gut/ heart instincts.Good for you to be asking questions. Try Dr. Phil's RElationship Rescue, it's mostly about clarifying these questions,,,who we are as individuals, what we want, then finding someone who meets our vision/ standards..Rather practical, and I am trying to rework a 19-yr marriage that in many ways has yet to begin...One day at a time, but every day counts. Peace.

It's never about the guy. Never. Right now, you have two semi-relationships that are both less than satisfactory. That's a sure sign you aren't loving yourself enough to hook up with men who love and respect you as much as you deserve. Think about this phrase: "I'm the one that I want." Write it down and post it on your bathroom mirror until you start to feel what it means. You don't need a man to complete you; you need to know for a fact that you are lovable and desirable. No one can give you that certainty except you. Follow the path of least resistance in your relationships as you build your self-esteem. I suspect you won't end up with either of these men, but with someone who will genuinely treasure you. You won't get what you now want: you'll get something much, much better. Good luck!

Thank you, Martha! I hope you are right! Sorry about that extar message.... :)