When my daughter's father and I split up, she was just 9, but from that day forward, it was HER responsibility to stay in contact with her father. If she wanted to see him, she called him. For the first year or so, he lived in the same town, but when he moved away, the two of them made flight and payment arrangements. When he called at his usual time, she answered the phone. When she was older, he called on her cell phone. I stayed out of it and it worked well. Though it was difficult, I tried never to say anything bad about her father - I knew she would figure out the truth eventually and she has. She's now 22, in college, and she has a good relationship with both of us. BUT, our divorce and custody arrangement weren't subjects for gossips and the tabloids.
Mr. Baldwin's daughter is 11 years old and is old enough to take the responsibility to set up visitation and to answer his scheduled phone calls without her mother's interference. If she's not going to be available to answer the phone, she should have the courtesy and respect to let him know. I doubt that the cell phone bill is an issue here, so she could leave a message ahead of time. ("Hey dad, I'll be busy at 8, but I'll be home around 10. Talk with you then." Short, sweet, to the point)
Both parents should understand that when they air their ugly issues about each other in the press, the message is that part of their daughter is bad too. The parents should take a step back, quit dragging their daughter into the middle of every argument, and act like grownups. Forcing your child to choose one parent over the other is not a solution. Dragging each other back to court time after time is not a solution when the whole ugly mess is played out in the press and on TV where not only the child sees and hears it, but her friends do as well. Everyone knows how hateful little girls can be and what pain they can cause with their words. Not only is the child torn between her parents, but she has to listen to the kids at school talk about it.
Could Mr. Baldwin have handled the situation better - sure and he knows that. But, should the tape have been released to the press - absolutely not. Releasing the tape to the press also hurt the child by making her the subject of ugly gossip once again. The voice mail message was the frustrated, angry reaction to a father's hurt feelings.
Dad and daughter need to work this out - away from the press, away from Mom, and between themselves.