Thank-you for your positive post. My husband and I talked about this at great length last night. He is adopted, but has not attempted to contact his birth family. (We are both in our 60s).  Here are our suggestions: 1. All birth parents, at the time of the adoption, must be made aware that at some point in the future they may be contacted by their child. At least they would 'know it may be coming.'   2. There should be some kind of go-between to facilitate the first contact, especially for closed adoptions. What I think some adoptee's fail to realize is that some birth parents WANT to contact their children, too, but can't do so for the same reason--the records are sealed. They, too, would face the same dilemma--maybe the adopted child has no interest in knowing them. Not all adopted children or birth parents feel the need to recontact. Something must be done, however,  for those who do.  I realize other posters have said they've tried mediation, but that may have been on an individual basis. Why not legislate so that it would work for all. We believe adopted children and birth parents should have the option of having all their questions answered. I just don't think "opening the books" is the best way to do it. It's not just a matter of each side's 'right to know'.  It's a matter of how to handle the initial contact,  and how to provide answers to all parties should either prefer not to establish a relationship.