I have little to know sympathy for the mothers/fathers.
1) The vast majority of the time, they are trying to cover up a past indiscretion -- running/hiding from their past.
2) We are talking about THE PAST. If the birth mother or father's spouses, families, and friends can't handle it, that's pretty pathetic on their part. I mean, really -- the past is the past. I don't buy it. I think it's just an excuse, and a lame one at that.
3) Have these birth mothers and fathers ever had to sit in a gynecologist's office (or any doctor's office for that matter) and had to tell the doctor that they know absolutely nothing of their medical history. For that matter, do they know what it feels like to be a medical professional trying to put pieces of a puzzle together when some of those pieces are missing?
4) Do they know what it is like to spend their entire childhood without ever feeling connected to their family? The saddest story I ever heard was when my husband told me that as a kid, he never felt at home with his adoptive family. He described it as the feeling of a child at a babysitter who was eternally waiting for his parents to come aand pick him up.
The basic question is this... WHY should the birth parents' right to hide trump the birth children's right to know who they are, where they came from, and what their medical history is? I cannot reconcile that. It just doesn't compute.