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It's never about the guy. Never. Right now, you have two semi-relationships that are both less than satisfactory. That's a sure sign you aren't loving yourself enough to hook up with men who love and respect you as much as you deserve. Think about this phrase: "I'm the one that I want." Write it down and post it on your bathroom mirror until you start to feel what it means. You don't need a man to complete you; you need to know for a fact that you are lovable and desirable. No one can give you that certainty except you. Follow the path of least resistance in your relationships as you build your self-esteem. I suspect you won't end up with either of these men, but with someone who will genuinely treasure you. You won't get what you now want: you'll get something much, much better. Good luck!