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You know I used to believe this too. It was our fault...we didn't know what was abusive & where to report it to. But then like your friend I grew up. And I realized I had teachers. I had doctors. Not only that...my dad had 11 sibs & my mom had 7 living sibs. Some aunts, uncles & cousins noticed things when we were young yet didn't say/do anything. Of course come to find out many of them on especially dad's side were just as bad if not worse. But by the time I was 15 I could obviously talk for myself. I called a few people & told them my new step-dad was crazy & abusive & begged for help. Yet my little brother & I were still ran out of our own house before we could graduate & grow up. We were both high school drop outs.
Facebook has causes & there's at least 50 about ending abuse. Most of them have animated gifs showing you one murder victim after another. Most of those victim's families or friends or neighbors reported...& reported & reported & reported. Yet someone died a horrid untimely death anyway.
Even now they say if you're being attacked in the street you should scream FIRE! More people will respond to fire then anything else. Some things people won't respond to at all.
You didn't mention spiritual abuse. You didn't mention neglect. You didn't mention bullying. And you didn't mention exploitation. You also didn't mention women, disabled & elderly victims...not to mention pets. In 2011 you shouldn't have to mention them but you do. We shouldn't have to create laws for people to have morals but we do. My ex is a perfect example why.
Between 2004-2006 my ex physically & mentally abused, neglected & exploited his own elderly mother & clinically proven insane sister. Actually he abused them longer then that but from 2004-2006 my kid & I were witnesses. He's pushed & yanked his elderly mom around...got in her face screaming & threatening her. He hit his insane sister so hard he knocked out some teeth & chipped others. Everybody had been called on him...by a few people besides me. His mom would've been better off in a nursing home. His sister would've been better off in a group home. If she could've ever got away from her family I think she could've been sane...or at least had a better life. But neither APS nor the local mental health facility nor the police would do anything for either one of them.
While he was abusing them he was also slandering me & mentally abusing, neglecting & exploiting my kid & I both.
& I called several people on our behalf too. CPS told me to take my kid to therapy. Not a word about him. APS wouldn't help me because I hadn't won disability yet. Regardless...the thing about it is housing...there's little to none in Texas. I don't know if it was all the hurricanes. But even a hospital social worker stated Texas is the 2nd worst state in the US when it comes to social services. They couldn't get us out. But they also didn't force him into therapy & classes.
CPS, APS, DHS & the local mental health facility...nobody would help. So I just started calling everybody. The housing authority...nope. A HUD dump...nope. Safeplace...nope. Homeless shelters...nope. Everybody had some excuse.
Meanwhile my ex's crazy sister had been sick for weeks. I told someone to take her to the doctor but she was always someone else's responsibility & that person was never around. The one night the responsible party finally did show up these 2 got into an argument & my ex's crazy sister went off into her room slamming the door behind her. We heard a loud crash. I state we should check in on her but people blew me off & left. It took me 4 days to get anybody in there to check in on this poor woman & we found her dead of a massive heart attack. They left her for 4 days so that it had to be a closed casket funeral. And do you know my ex was making fun of her to his friends before they even had her out of the house! And she helped raise him & his son for him.
This man is still free. He's killed at least one person & caused several wrecks yet he still drives. He still had custody of his mom 'til around 1/2008. He's still abusing, neglecting & exploiting us...he's still being reported...he's still getting away with it. He's still not ordered by anybody to obtain therapy & classes.
Now who do we blame? Him as an individual. His family as an individual family. The agencies & orgs created to help people that are in reality leaving them to rot? I won disability 10/07. I'm disabled per the US Gov't. APS's site says if you're disabled & being abused, neglected or exploited contact them. I do & they tell me there's no where for me to go so they leave me here. I said send me elsewhere where there's housing & first they agree but when they realize that means a truck, tow for my car & the gas suddenly abuse, neglect & exploitation aren't enough to warrant such an expense.
It's the agencies. They suffer no consequences for leaving human beings to rot. It's the mental clinics refusing to take people in because they have no health insurance. It's the corporations & the insurance industry & the politicians who work for them rather then "we the people". It's the lack of legal representation for the poor. Until we do something about all of this...we'll continue to have abused & neglected people.